Unique. Exhausting. Beautiful. Sweet. Spunky. Smart. Quirky.
These are all words I have used to describe Emma. They are all 100% true. On
the other end of things I usually keep it simple when explaining why Emma does
and behaves the way she does. I stick with the blanket statement of “She has
special needs”, it’s easier and most of the time I can get away with that much
else. The reality is not only are we dealing with significant developmental
delays, sensory & auditory processing issues & medical ups and downs, I
am also the mother of a child with mental health struggles. How extensive?
She’s too young to know. What exactly are we dealing with? We are still working
on figuring that all out.
Mental Health still has a terrible stigma attached to it.
You say it and people instantly get very uncomfortable. You start talking about
a 6 year old and people can’t seem to compute that, like their brains simply
cannot understand what you are trying to explain. Explanations seem to be met
with “she’ll grow out of it” or “she’s just spirited” which is when I start
visualizing myself slapping this person. The reality is – this will not be
something she will grow out of. It will change and adjust and I will help Emma
in every way possible to have healthy coping skills and understanding of what
is going on.
Emma, despite her delays, she is becoming more and more
aware that she is different. I am sad she has to deal with being “different”
and what that will mean throughout her life, but I like that it makes the
conversation easy. Here is an example. A couple weeks ago we had a MAJOR
meltdown. I’m talking hitting, spitting, biting and complete loss of control. After,
Emma was incredibly remorseful and kept sobbing “what is wrong with my brain?”
I cried too… as her mom this was a particularly painful question. But I felt
like this was a crossroads for us. Path 1 – just go with the there is nothing
going on everything is fine (it was very enticing – not going to lie!!) or Path
2 – be open (age appropriately) and talk about it. I felt like at that moment
it was my door – the opportunity to address it. She KNOWS there is something
different, I fear that if I undermined or ignore how she is feeling she will
end up not trusting what I tell her in the future. So I carefully stepped in to
the conversation which was strait and
simple, and it was hard. I told her that yes her brain acted differently that
even mommy doesn’t always know why and there is doctors to help us with that. I
reassured her that no matter what I loved she and that WE were going to figure
this out together. She asked me when we would be able to talk to the doctor and
I assured her I would schedule an appointment. We were able to get in the next
week, which I told her. She then asked me what would happen if it didn't work.
I again reassured her that it would work, it will just take time and help and
that we were again doing it together. Just like that we ended with a snuggle
and a kiss and we were done. I know that this is just the beginning of the
conversation and that there will be many more like it, but we are taking this
little journey day by day.
Emma is a Unique. Happy. Beautiful. Sweet. Spunky. Smart.
Quirky little lady who also has a Mental Health diagnosis. It doesn't define
her but is part of her. I totally understand that everyone’s journey is very
different and am not judging those that make a different path! This is simply
what worked for us!!
About Lindsay – I am a
single mom to Emma an adorable 6 year old full of spunk. Co-founded of Utah
Easy to Love a support group for families raising children with special needs,
crafter, blogger wanna-be, lover of decorating, reading and spending time with
family and friends. My journey with Em started off bumpy with a lot of medical
struggles and hospital visits. While we continue to struggle with various
medical issues our primary focus is on her development, mental health and
behavioral struggles that we are still trying to untangle. Despite these ups
and downs I am one proud mama who absolutely adores my tiny bug.
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